Part Two--Do It Anyway

I still have friends asking me why I am posting about what happened to Dwight and I in the community at the hands of the City of Wylie management and some of their influential friends.  I first spoke of my reasons in the October 6, 2013 Do It Anyway. 

I want people to know too that what was meant for our harm, God is using for our good.  This is something that we need to be able to tell, as it is a huge praise to God for all He has done and continuing to do.  I would be remiss in not sharing this testimony of every detail of all He has done if for no other reason than an encouragement for others during such dark, dark times.  Our prayer is that we will soon be able to share of the past year’s mercy and grace that the Lord has showered us with and the incredible way He has   worked through things and the plans He has for us.  We can not thank Him enough nor can we think as big as He does!  Truly what was meant for our harm, He has used for good for us and others.

There are people that have absolutely been ruined by these same people that continue doing this over and over for their own selfish reasons, NOT for the good of the community of the City of Wylie.  And because of what has been done and the huge liability that the City of Wylie has been placed, they go to great lengths to discredit those they wrong in their attempts NOT to get caught.  We have even been told recently that Mindy has shared with some on the council that “she has influence with other cities in their hiring and firing”.  Since Dwight’s forced departure, he has continued attending classes and meetings to keep his certifications and State licenses current.  In every single meeting, once it is discovered that Dwight is now consulting and no longer with the City of Wylie, the barrier comes down and they openly discuss many stories they have collectively known for years now of the City of Wylie’s mistreatment, abuse and misuse of their employees.  Their revolving door history especially with their Building Officials is believed to be the worst in the State of Texas with upwards of 12-14 in the past 20 years.  This is not just our opinion, this is coming from professionals across the State of Texas.  We know that the City of Wylie has been blackballing Dwight and others in the past and this too is illegal.  And because of this, people are leery in telling of their newfound jobs for chance of Mindy, Jeff and Eric continuing their slanderous tales and the retribution of others that have been involved in helping them.  It is hard to understand WHY they keep on trying to hurt us and other people over and over—is this really that much fun for them?   Do they feel that they are untouchable?  If nothing else, do they not wonder how the Lord is viewing all these terrible things they are doing to others?

Early on in the first months of our debacle, we were contacted and told that there was already a Federal investigation going on in Wylie.  NOTHING was shared with us regarding such investigations and we did not know then nor now exactly what was being “investigated” or even if in fact the call was legitimate.  We know that the shop was bugged and can only surmise that was done to find out IF we knew anything…but we have not a clue what they were searching for and what we were supposed to know.  As of yet we still do not know who was bugging the shop as there were many involved in what happened to us and that is something yet to be revealed to us.  We are hoping that one of those involved will come forward and reveal the truth rather than continue to be on the list of accomplices.

I was recently reminded that we are safer with people knowing what has been done to us and who has threatened us.  I also was reminded Federal investigations into other cities (Dallas was the example given) that nothing is disclosed until investigations are complete and DONE.  Maybe this is the case here in Wylie, but maybe not.  But no matter the case, we know that the Lord is in control of it all and IS using it for our good.  He will not let good, decent people continually get hurt at the hands of these people without them having to answer for what they have done--if to no one but HIM.  And what I have yet to share is the number of good people in the community that have been used as pawns in this as they continually create their stories and therefore are slandering these innocent people as well.  And we also have been told that there are six known employees on their hit list (a few of these are near retirement) and any one of them could be in jeopardy.  And for those that continue rebuking those of us that have been so wronged and rallying with the perpetrators, I pray that you will come to realize that you are only heaping judgement on yourself and it is so not your fight.  Believe me, these people are not kind and sweet innocents, but as dangerous as anyone with murder in their heart.

Even though this is NOT a subject that is in any way positive in nature or content and it is definitely depressing for me to even broach the subject, but IF I can prevent it happening to one more person, it will be worth it.  I also believe that people deserve to have their family and friends know that this is NOT a problem that was created by them, but by those that wanted to get rid of them for NO fault of their own.  If there truly had been grounds for firing employees and running people out of businesses, then the truth would have been told rather than all the construed lies and outlandish stories.  And what is unreal is that they must be getting off script as they are saying the same things repeatedly about so many people.  If this collective group of maligned former employees got together these people would go down so fast and the City of Wylie would be owned by these very people that they have slandered beyond belief.

And to the people in the community that I considered friends that are so blatant in their mistreatment of those of us so undeserving of your rebuke, just know that when you are no longer useful to these people or you throw any kind of wrench in the works of their selfish agendas, YOU too could easily be sacrificed.  And you too could be on a list of casualties of others before that have too late come to regret their assistance in helping them carry out their very ugly missions.  This is not just some made up drama that I am sharing, this is a matter of historical record and it just keeps on happening over and over.    

I have always championed for those wronged.  Family and friends will tell you that I was a kind and sweet child yet would always rally to defend others if I believed them maligned.  Probably my earliest recollection was when I was about eight years old and my sister was a baby.  I was fierce in my love for Cindy and spent most of my waking moments with her those first months after her birth.  Once school was out for the summer, Mother and Daddy would coax me to go and play outside with my friends.  I loved to skate and one day I took Cindy outside in her stroller and decided to skate as I pushed her down the sidewalk.  As I was skating and pushing her, a boy on our street who was a known bully came riding his bicycle towards us with a broad smile on his face.  I was one of the very few children on our block that he had not mistreated and I had no reason to think he was going to do anything mean.  As he got to us he jumped off of his bicycle, threw it down and proceeded to grab the stroller from my grip.  Of all things, he then pushed the stroller into the street.  Before I knew it, a panic swelled within me and the next thing I knew, I had tap danced all over the wheels of his bicycle breaking the spokes of his wheels.  In one moment I had destroyed his bike, had my baby sister and the stroller in hand and sent the bully home crying with his bigger bullying brother and sister, consoling him and giving me looks that would have normally cleared the entire neighborhood of any children for days—or at least until his mother had exercised her wrath on the other mothers in the neighborhood for a child to dare do anything retaliatory to her son who was older and much bigger than I was.  Nothing ever happened and of course, I never did anything of that nature again, but I have continued trying to rescue the wayward strollers that the bullies in life so carelessly push into harm’s way.  It is not that I am mean spirited, quite the opposite is true of me.  I just believe that the wronged should have someone on their side, someone encouraging them against the bullies in life.  Amazing but true, it seems through such times, the wronged are pretty much in it by themselves, and it becomes a time of painful discoveries of who really are their friends and those that are only there for the good times in life.    

At the Pool of Bethesda

In my last post, I mentioned my mother’s accident Thanksgiving weekend.  She is still in Rehab making very slow progress as she heals from the physical injuries and struggles to regain physical strength.  Neither of us would have authored this difficult chapter as she has come to the pool of Bethesda in this life struggle.  I thought I was better equipped to help her through the healing, but I find I am miserably inadequate and there is not a moment when I am with her now that I am not having to lean on the Lord and calling for His help constantly.  Unfortunately, I am physically unable to meet Mother’s daily needs like before.  If I was able and my wishes for her came true, she would be back home again working on her puzzles, providing armchair refereeing for the Cowboys and Rangers, making her famous fudge and pralines, doing her seasonal decorating, on the phone bragging about her awesome grandsons, visiting with family and friends, reading her Dallas Morning News each day as well as her Bible and devotionals, planning the next family gathering, cleaning house (she loves to clean), and cooking to her heart’s content.  Unfortunately, neither of us can do what we used to—the spring is a little sprung for both of these chicks!

I started wearing my ‘caregiving’ hat in 1981 at the age of 32.  At that time, because of my father’s health, he sold his practice and retired.  For a year, I worked side by side with him in his clinic as we transitioned the clinic from his care to the new physician’s care.  It was a bittersweet time, as Daddy very much loved his patients, staff and his profession and I believe he was genuinely loved and appreciated by those honored to know him.  The parting was very difficult for him, for it was not because he wanted to retire, but physically he had to retire.  I had moved back to Dallas from Austin when he made the decision to sell his practice.  He was only 57 years old and was dealing with a variety of health issues.  He had never taken a ‘sick day’ in his entire career.  After his first trip to the family farm after retiring, he went fishing and afterwards told me, “I never thought I would live to fish again”.  That was his first indication of just how bad he had been feeling, as he was never one to complain, always positive with a smile on his face and any concerns and priorities were for the well-being of others.

For the next five years, he took things a little slower and developed some new hobbies other than fishing, which he had always loved.  In 1986, his health took a turn for the worse and my visits became more regular, often daily.  After work, I would go out to the house to check on Mother and Daddy, visit, help him with computer work and other things either might need help with at the time.  In 1989, due to Daddy’s health the decision was made to close the antique shop that we had opened in 1981.  I then started a business out of my home, a claims filing service for doctor’s offices.  I believed that eventually with Daddy’s caregiving needs I would want to be available 24/7 and working from home would be a must.  He had always taken such good care of everyone, always seeing to the needs of all the elders in both his and Mother’s family and we wanted to do no less for him.  From the beginning, we chose to care for him at home rather than moving him into a care facility.

In 1992, I sold my house and moved in with Mother and Daddy as his needs became more urgent.  In late 1994, Daddy became bedridden until his death in 1997.  His was a long and incredibly sad battle as he lost a little of himself each day and our goodbyes were more difficult with each passing day.  He was the best patient, never complaining or fussing, as he seemed to know that through it all, we very much loved him (there were times when we did not know if he recognized us) and he knew that we were trying to help him.  He faced each day with such amazing grace as if he were awaiting the sanctification of his new and healed body that he would once again have in Heaven.  I pray that if I am faced with the same type of suffering that I too can face each day with the grace of such love and worship.

The year after Daddy died, Mother began addressing her own health needs.  In caring for Daddy, she would not give in to her own needs for fear of not being able to be at his side each and every day.  Since 1997, Mother has been through major surgeries and her own loss of self.  At 85, she has been described by medical professionals as the most determined and independent patient they have ever seen.  She is independent to a fault in that she can not do what she insists on doing for herself.  She will not easily accept assistance from those that are actually trained to help with such needs.  It is not that she is trying to be difficult; hers is a determination NOT to lose the ability to do what she believes she is capable of doing for herself.  If you don’t use it, you lose it and that is what fuels her determination.  The medical staff is in awe of her spirit and tenacity.  With her head injury, she is back in the days of shopping for us as children, panicking that she will be late picking us up from school and a momma bear fighting anyone she thinks is keeping her from her motherly duties.  It has been eight weeks of battle that this caregiver has NOT ever faced in my 33 years of caregiving—more than half of my life, so you would think I know a little more than what I believe I did learn in kindergarten.  With each battle, I have to call out for His wisdom and strength for this weary battle that wages.  It is absolutely heartbreaking and completely mentally and physically draining.

As I write this, it is from my perspective of my experiences.  Cindy, my sister is a dutiful daughter and sister with obligations to her wonderful family.  My nephews, Jed and Matt never knew their doting Paw Paw when he was well.  With the needs of a growing family and living four hours away, it has been difficult for Cindy to come and help as much as she would like.  I know being away during difficult times such as this is a heart-tug-of-war for her as well as for my nephews.  They lost all their grandparents except for Mother when they were very young.  They have all been more than supportive and always huge blessings to us no matter if they are here or four hours away.  Cindy’s husband Randy has always been supportive when Cindy has come even for days at a time.  Having lost both of his parents, Randy understands how difficult this is for us.  And certainly NOT last or least, I absolutely could not do all this now without the help and support that Dwight gives us all.  Sometimes he is the only calming factor in Mom’s equation.  It may be his voice, it may be his kindness, it may be his unconditional acceptance, or that she knows she can always depend on Dwight to be there to help her and in her own way she shows Dwight her love, appreciation, and thankfulness.  I know she sees Dwight as a godly man, and I hope she is seeing the love of Jesus for her in Dwight as well as in me.

All this has brought us to a new stage in life where we recognize more and more the need to downsize.  In working on Mother’s house now, we are downsizing her for the third time since 1991.  At that time, Mother and Daddy were moving from Lucas to Rowlett and going from approximately 5,400 to about 3,900 square feet.  In 2003, Mother downsized once again as we moved her from Rowlett to her smaller 2,300 square foot home (approximate) in Wylie.  In addition to her home, she has three storage units at an offsite location that requires purging as well.  In dealing with all this for Mother, Dwight and I have recognized that we too have a huge need to downsize.  With our home and offsite storage (The Crafter’s Co-op millwork, supplies, etc.) we are looking to downsize from approximately 3,000 square feet.  It will be wonderful to be free from the bondage of STUFF!  So if any of you reading this, would like some trash or treasures, we have lots of both that we will be sending to new homes.

I am sure we all find our parents to be very interesting people.  Mine were from very different backgrounds, yet at the same time very much the same.  They loved their families and loved their children, wanting the very best for us all.  The best life lessons I learned were taught by their example of living their lives to be the very best they could be for us.  They taught me about faith, integrity, honesty, appreciation for life, love for family and friends, and most of what I value to the very core of my being.  I learned some lessons that were hard, but even those were tempered with great love and kindness.  At 85 years old, Mother is still teaching me a lot.  The Lord is still using her each and every day where she is right now.  She feels useless as she struggles in Rehab, yet those that are around her and are assisting her with therapy, see an incredible little lady.  Yes, they are learning something from her each day as did we all learn from Daddy in his last years that probably seemed very desolate to him.  What we now see as heartbreaking for them is another chapter that unfolds in all of our lives, just a different time and place, but still we are to be thankful and rejoice in it all.

Missy Buchanan wrote the following when her mother was living in the same Independent Living facility where Dwight’s mother was living and it seems very relevant with Mother’s state of circumstances at this time.

“NOT THE END OF THE STORY”

They say every good story must have a beginning, a middle, and an end.

I suppose that is true for novels and fairy tales too.

For my own story, the beginning and middle were written years ago, but not the final chapters.

So far, it’s been an interesting story with twists and turns in the plot.

And if I look carefully, I see evidence of your faithfulness written on every page.

Lord, I still don’t know how the last few paragraphs will unfold.

I’m not sure when I will draw my last breath.

But I do know for certain, the story won’t end there.

Your promise of eternal life gives real meaning to the fairy-tale ending: “And they lived happily ever after."

John 5:3-9 In these lay a great multitude of sick people, blind, lame, paralyzed, waiting for a moving of the water.  For an angel went down at a certain time into the pool and stirred up the water; then whoever stepped in first, after the stirring of the water, was made well of whatever disease he had.  Now a certain man was there who had an infirmity thirty-eight years.  When Jesus saw him lying there, and knew that he already had been in the condition a long time, He said to him, “Do you want to be made well?”  The sick man answered Him, “Sir, I have no man to put me into the pool when the water is stirred up, but while I am coming, another steps down before me.”  Jesus said to him, “Rise, take up your bed and walk.”  And immediately the man was made well, took up his bed, and walked.  NKJV